Where Do You Live?

"Where do you live?" I don't know when it started, but I realize I ask that question of virtually every person I meet. Obsessively (or is it compulsively?). In any case, I feel a need to know that little bit of information about someone. Somehow the answer means a lot. I don't mean where they actually live. I'm not a stalker, though some people look at me like I might be when I ask that question. What I mean is: how someone answers the question reveals a lot about how they view where they live.

Here's what I find interesting: we all share some common parts of our address. I live at 1234 N. Main Street, the East Side, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA, North America, Western Hemisphere, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way, Universe. Here, we share everything after Milwaukee. It's the stuff before it that defines us. But what answers do I get? And, what do I think they suggest?

Over the course of the last 50 years or so, American community has changed in lots of profound ways. I have all kinds of theories about those changes (if you're interested, there's also a great book called Bowling Alone by Robert Putnam who is smart and actually credible). Changing demographics, automobiles, television, other advancing technology, economic changes and any other number of factors have deeply influenced the ways we contemplate our communities. Arguments abound as to what caused the changes, but there's no denying that we've changed.

How have we changed? There's one example I always go back to: front porches became back patios. Not only is that physically true, but it's also a metaphor for our communities: in many ways we have turned our backs on our immediate neighborhoods and instead have concentrated on smaller and smaller community elements. Downtown Milwaukee once had lots of people. But people fled the cities starting in the 1930's looking for the suburban ideal. Now, look at our suburbs. If you live in them, where can you walk? In some of Milwaukee’s suburbs you have to walk on the street because there aren't even sidewalks. Now, I recognize that's not true everywhere. Most suburbs have an urbanized area that fosters walking and a more communal environment. I also recognize that walking isn't the ideal for everyone. But, I do believe that walking creates a different type of interaction with our neighborhood.

Why do I think that kind of interaction is important? When you pass your neighbor and give a friendly wave, you've engaged them. When they tell you about their son or daughter or dog or parent, you've gotten to know them a little. When you know them even a little, you become at least partially invested in their well-being. Generally, I believe that interaction provokes social intimacy and that social intimacy inspires a sense of community. I hold that sense of community at the highest level, and strongly believe that we need to cultivate it.

So, this brings me back to the answers I get to my question: "Where do you live?" For this, let's assume they live at 123 E. Main St., Apt. 409 (Main Street Lofts). If I ask, and the person tells me their full address I think a couple things. First, I realize they must not think I'm a sociopathic lunatic. Second, I think that they very narrowly define their community. They feel insulated. What about when they say "Main Street Lofts"? Then, I think that they have developed a communal sense for Main Street Lofts, and that they feel some broader sense of community (of course, it could also be that they simply think I would recognize the name, but that's no fun for this exercise). What about when they say "The Third Ward"? Now their community extends beyond their apartment, beyond their building and into the world around them. I like this. But, what about when they say "Milwaukee"? Now I find it harder to interpret. Since I'm from Milwaukee, I don't let that answer stand. I ask again. My compulsion hasn't been satisfied.

But why do I find this interesting? I think that our personal perception of community is overwhelmingly important. Because as a real estate developer, I don't want to lose sight of my professional responsibility. Developers have a pretty mixed reputation. In the end, though, we create, manage and take care of people's homes. We build their communities, or at least a profoundly important component of them.

So I’m passionate about community. In this blog, I will exalt involvement over complacency. I'm going to ask each of us to consider where we live and who we are. I'm going to ask us to examine critically how we get involved. In the end, I'm going to ask that we each actively consider our community, and that we become active in it. So, let's start with a quick question: Where do you live?